Some lessons don’t come wrapped in light.
Some come through rupture.
This is the story of one of them.
It was during a psilocybin ceremony—one I entered with trust, reverence, and hope.
I was surrounded by men I called brothers.
But somewhere along the way, the space twisted.
I became the mirror.
And what was reflected back wasn’t love. It was mockery. Manipulation.
One of them weaponized my vulnerability in the middle of the ceremony.
Another stayed silent when I needed him to speak.
The wound didn’t just cut—it carved.
Right through my trust. Right through my spirit.
When the People You Love Are the Ones Who Break You
What do you do when your spiritual allies become the ones who violate the sacred?
You grieve. You rage. You scream at the sky.
And then, if you’re willing… you listen.
Because betrayal, as painful as it is, can be a consecrated teacher.
It shows you where you’ve abandoned your intuition.
Where you’ve outsourced your power.
Where you’ve allowed spiritual community to become spiritual codependence.
What the Betrayal Revealed
I saw the shadow side of medicine spaces—where charisma masks control, and brotherhood can hide ego.
But I also saw myself.
I saw the parts of me that still wanted to be accepted at any cost.
I saw the part that silenced his inner knowing to “keep the peace.”
I saw the boy who just wanted to belong.
And I made a vow: Never again.
Discernment Journal Prompt
Where in your life are you ignoring red flags in the name of love or loyalty?
What does it mean to be loyal to yourself first?
This wasn’t a wound I would have chosen.
But it was a gift I now honor.
Because it gave me back my voice.
My sovereignty.
And my ability to walk away—blessing them, and choosing me.
— Jesse
